Dental Diaries & Melting Moments
Driving home from the dentist, I’ve been flipping between complete hilarity at my current anaesthetised plight while wrestling with my own political correctness at the root of some of my amusement. Not that I’ve ever let ‘that’ get in the way of a bloody good laugh thus far it must be said!!
I have a few random jobs to do this arvo but am loathe to leave the house just yet to attempt any of them, as not only do I fear I look like a recent stroke victim but my tongue doesn’t seem to work at all. Laughing, completely busting for a cuppa, I’m remembering a hilarious scene from the movie ‘10’ when Dudley Moore’s character, so intent on locating this magnificent woman, subjects himself to all manner of pain, going to see the woman’s father, a dentist who performs a raft of questionable procedures on him. Afterwards, he heads to a coffee shop and makes an absolute arse of himself, flirting, trying to look cool and drooling his coffee like a discombobulated toddler, with a totally anaesthetised face and mouth.
I laughed and laughed remembering this image deciding it wont be me, then had a moment of feeling awful for some, for whom this is a reality and wondered why it is we laugh so much at others misfortune, failures foibles, inadequacies or injury from slapstick like fall down stupidity. Language and speech seems to be a hot topic as I recalled in ‘Bruce Almighty’ when Bruce puts a whammy on a colleague he’s competing with, who then cannot string a coherent sentence together, recalling just how funny this is to watch. And still, most of us show tremendous empathy towards those afflicted with a working brain and a totally non compliant mouth trying valiantly to communicate regardless of how this affliction began.
Is it that we feel better delighting in the failures of others, are we comforted, encouraged and relieved seeing others stumble because it means when we fall down we are not alone? Does it take the sting out of dire and terrible situations softening them with humour? is it all of them at times?
So having reverted to uncontrollable giggles again, I found myself compiling a list of must dos after the dentist, detailing all the brilliant things one could achieve with their face in this disembodied state:
▲ Brilliant day for a lip tattoo I thought, you could lie back and not feel a bloody thing for the whole session.
▲ My facial sensation is so dramatically geographically compromised I can’t feel a damn thing… down my neck, up to my temple and all the way back into my scalp past my left ear…. hell I could have my ear and eyebrow pierced, and a hair transplant too and would know the difference! What an opportunity.
▲ Women of a certain age, with increasing testosterone levels, after the oestrogen starts to fall, can experience changes they may not have expected. One may enjoy the delights of an increased desire for sex but also the disaster of the appearance dark facial hair. Unquestionably we should double book electrolysis or laser treatment immediately after the dentist….. what a brilliant plan!
She said it would wear off in an hour…. Im up to 2 plus and still feel one could Hannibal Lecter my face straight off without issue.
Bit peckish and very thirsty but until I can poke out my tongue and it does not look like a “magic round the corner periscope” toy with me involuntarily licking my right cheek and ear, I think I can hold out a little longer. Dont fancy a change of clothes much this afternoon.